Perplexing Papers

Clump #62:  Organize stubborn paper before filing or shredding.

The September 30-day, 30-clump, 30-post challenge was deeply rewarding.  I built up a momentum I had been missing in the clumping project and in this blog.  I probably couldn’t have maintained it without the help of my older daughter, who has been a dedicated proof-reader and enthusiastic cheerleader.

Here she is this summer, looking out for rocks and other obstacles in a shallow channel between two lakes in Minnesota.  In the same way, she has saved me from writing collisions like dessert for desert — spell-check wouldn’t have warned me — and poor sentence construction that would have led one to believe we keep my mom outside on a patio.

IMG_4228

So what next?  I would really like to keep the pace going.  Before the September challenge, not blogging felt more natural than blogging; so easy to let it slip.  Now the opposite is true.  So I’ll keep going, without feeling badly when I skip a day here and there.

And now to the clump.  This has been a slog.  I wanted to include a picture of the soul-sucking Dementors from Harry Potter to illustrate its effect on me, but the images were too creepy.  It’s as though all the stubborn paper — not easy to shred, recycle, or file — from other areas of the house spilled (I wanted to say vomited) into a pile in the family room.

IMG_2057

The kitchen table is now filled with small piles of alphabetically arranged statements and other important-looking things, ready for a confab with my husband and a final ruling on what to do with them.  A clump for another day!

Some things are impossible to let go of, like the Christmas card (below) sent to me by an old friend this year; it had been sent to her by my long-deceased sister.  The friend was purging her own paper pile, and thought I’d appreciate the vote of confidence my sister had given to my then-boyfriend, now-husband in the written note.  “I keep my fingers crossed!” she wrote.

IMG_2064

Well, the floor in this room is looking a lot better now!  The clumping continues.  Thank you for being with me in spirit and in print!

IMG_2060

Going The Distance

Clump #61:  Bulldoze through Paper Mountain.

Cue another movie theme song:  the training song from Rocky.  Like Rocky Balboa, I went the distance!  30 days, 30 clumps, and (almost) 30 posts.

rocky-2

It’s been a day of intense inner paper pile purging.  The really tough stuff.  I’m not as bruised and bloodied as Rocky, but I did get a mean paper cut.  I very much wanted to end this challenge with a big flourish, but I bit off more than I could chew with this clump.  I started clearing papers from one end of the house and hoped to power through to the other, but piles remain for another day.

So I don’t feel as though I won, however, the distance was maintained. I transformed this:

IMG_2042

To this …

IMG_2048

And this area:

IMG_2049

To this:

IMG_2050

Along the way, I was buoyed by finding some inspirational quotes.

IMG_2047

I have a fear of some of those papers, as silly as that sounds.

IMG_2046

But thanks to this blog, this challenge, and all who have encouraged me, I’m getting there!  Gonna Fly Now.

rocky1

One Day More

Clump #60:  Clear out last corner of — formerly — stuffed study.

Picture legions of people with beautiful voices belting the words of the title of this post, or listen for yourself on Youtube.

lmis-222x300

I can’t believe it!  Thirty days is almost here.  I never thought I’d say this, but it went by so quickly.  The 30-day, 30-clump, 30-post challenge was exhausting at first, but I’ve gotten into a groove.  How I appreciate everyone who has stuck by and tuned in.  I’ve felt your support!

If not for the project and the support, items like this would have been on the probably-permanent-procrastinate-to-don’t list: programs from my father’s memorial service.  I kept a few and recycled the rest.

IMG_2033

One day more — one pile more.  Before:

IMG_1964

And After:

IMG_2035

AND … now we have a new room in our house!  We can walk around freely on the floor!  Imagine that!

IMG_2034

Tomorrow I have one huge pile in another section of the house.  It’s going to be a big challenge at the end of the challenge.  “Tomorrow we’ll discover what our God in Heaven has in store …”  With any luck it will be a happier ending than in Les Miserables.
IMG_1088

Banished Snake Pit

Clump #59:  Unwrap and clean plates.  Recycle old, broken laptop and wires at Best Buy.

Within spitting distance of 30 days in my month of September, 30-clump, 30-post challenge!  The study is almost all cleared out. It’s a little echo-y … might take some getting used to.

This was a gift from my husband a long time ago.  Smaller plates to make for smaller meals and healthier bodies.  He had told me to take them back and see if there were others I might like better.  Since then they’ve been stashed in the study.  Today I decided that plain and simple was just fine with me, and popped them in the dishwasher.

IMG_1965

I thought this wicker waste paper basket was a nice relic from my parents’ home … and then I looked inside and saw the snake nest of jumbled wires.  Also, an old, hidden, broken laptop from my father’s valiant, but doomed, effort to get my mother to join the computer age. Back to Best Buy!

IMG_1966

I think I’m getting recognized there as the woman who brings things in to recycle, but never buys anything.

IMG_1968

While I was out today, I noticed that the fall season has suddenly fallen upon us.

.IMG_1973

Everywhere I went, the signs were glaringly obvious.

IMG_1979

Aww … I miss getting costumes ready for the kids.

IMG_1984

Here I am, cloud-crazed again.  This was the view from a cart corral in a grocery store parking lot:

IMG_1982

I’m feeling very grateful for the impetus this blog has given me to take more photos.  As a result, I’ve become much more attuned to the beauty around me … and above me.

Mortalitea

Clump #58:  Take random items to post office and send to older daughter.

The weather here has made fall achingly beautiful so far.  On the phone with my older daughter today, I mentioned that I recently told my mom, “I wish it would go on forever,to which my mom wisely replied, “Then we wouldn’t appreciate it.”

IMG_1948

This reminded my daughter of a quote from the series Battlestar Galactica, which I looked up:  (Spoken by the leader of the rebel Cylons) “In our civil war, we’ve seen death.  We’ve watched people die.  Gone forever.  As terrible as it was beyond the reach of the Resurrection ships, something began to change.  We could feel a sense of time, as if each moment held its own significance.  We began to realize that for our existence to hold any value, it must end.  To live meaningful lives, we must die and not return.  The one human flaw that you spend your life distressing over … Mortality is the one thing … Well, it’s the one thing that makes you whole.”   I haven’t watched Battlestar, but that quote really spoke to my mood and preoccupation.

I sent this same daughter a package with a few thing I’ve been meaning to get to her for way too long.  I included my dad’s old — vintage — warm-up suit to give to a good friend of hers.  This is truly the last of the parent-clothes to release.  A weight is lifted.

IMG_1938

I gave a Reiki treatment to a good friend and was richly rewarded with tea in her beautiful garden.

IMG_1940

I couldn’t resist taking pictures of the roses by a stone shed.  Don’t we appreciate late September roses more because we know their season is almost over?

IMG_1953

IMG_1957

IMG_1955

Hats Off

Clump #57:  Bring last of parents’ clothes to Goodwill.

I took this picture of a maple tree yesterday while sitting outside with my mom.  I was thinking that soon all those green leaves will be changing color and falling.  The theme of mortality seems never far from my mind as I contend with the last few piles of my parents’ belongings on my 30-day, 30-clump, 30-post challenge.

IMG_1911

I plucked this one leaf, already beginning to change color, the way I once was able to pluck one grey hair from my head and say, I’m young again!

IMG_1912

I apologize for sounding like Debbie Downer!  I thought bringing a couple of bags of clothes to the Goodwill would be an easy clump. Something of the essence of a person remains on those well-worn items. More than just smell.

I had been saving my mom’s mink stole and a fur trimmed jacket for our high school’s theater department. When the new costume director finally emailed, she said they were starting to purge their collection.  The nerve of them purging while I’m purging!   Here’s a photo of my parents with the jacket:

IMG_1919

IMG_1928

I also brought a bag of my dad’s clothes I had held aside for my older daughter to pick through for something she could wear.  This is a tuxedo my mom snagged from “The Barter Bar,” a used clothing exchange where she had volunteered.  She and my dad would go to fancy events and get such a kick out of the Barter Bar tux bought for a pittance.  I hope someone else will have the same delight.

IMG_1927

I came home with two of my dad’s hats I had planned to give away.  I wasn’t strong enough.  Maybe my son might someday want to wear them. In the meantime, they are on the shelf in the hall coat closet with the whisk broom that used to reside in the coat closet of my youth. (Does anyone brush off their clothes anymore … outside of Downton Abbey?)

IMG_1937

The beautiful sky today lifted my spirits.  This view seemed to confirm the rightness of winnowing down.

IMG_1932

Desktop Dilemma

Clump #56: Clear off papers on top of desk in study and whittle down monster paper pile.

These papers have been piled on this desktop for so long, they’ve calcified.  I put them together with the Pile Within the Pile left over from the previous paper purge.  We do have file cabinet drawers, but the papers in there must be mummified by now.

IMG_1925

I did a bunch of sorting today, but the process was overwhelming; I couldn’t finish the job in one day. To paraphrase Roy Scheider in Jaws, I’m going to need a bigger boat. Must repeat: one clump at a time.   I had to see this desk completely cleared off, and here it is:

IMG_1926

I read about clean vs. messy desks in an article that was one of the top 10 most emailed from the New York Times online this week.  I’m kind of upset about it.  Apparently, “People blessed with innate conscientiousness, meaning that they are organized and predictable, typically eat better and live longer than people who are disorderly.  They also tend to have immaculate offices.”  The researchers also discovered that “Disorderly environments seem to inspire breaking free of tradition … which can produce fresh insights.”

So, our choice is living healthier and longer with a clean desk, or imaginatively and creatively with a messy desk. Am I alone in desiring, even demanding, both?

The little boy on the cover of one of my favorite catalogs (in the recycling bag) is urging me to continue this quest.  I’m searching for a middle ground between abject messiness and sterile cleanliness.  I can’t lose sight of the forest for the trees (papers).

IMG_1612

Physical and Spiritual Discernment

Clump #55:  Clear away two more bags on floor of study.  I’m getting very close to an imperfectly-perfectly clear floor in this room, all because of the personal 30-day, 30-clump, 30-post challenge.  Yay!

This was a simple clump, but its reverberations will be far-reaching.  I’m getting the floor de-cluttered in the room that was stuffed with stuff, to the point where we couldn’t (and didn’t want to) walk there.

Here they are, long-forgotten and formerly hidden in the clutter:

IMG_1907

One was filled with the fishing gear we use on our annual trip to Minnesota.  We also have an annual “Where did we stash the fishing gear?” routine … so utterly predictable, annoying, and time-wasting.

IMG_1904

This year will be different …. wow!  Look at us now!

IMG_1910

The lone glove in the bag is reunited with its mate in the glove drawer, and all is right in the glove world again.

IMG_1905

The other small paper bag contained knitting instructions for socks (something I would have been really bugged at not locating next time the sock-knitting urge strikes) and a great book, Decision Making & Spiritual Discernment, by Nancy L. Bieber.  Why these two were stashed together, I have no idea.

IMG_1908

I took a class last year on Spiritual Discernment, based on this book. Nancy Bieber taught the first session and gave us a few hand-outs. Rereading them today reminded me of a quote I especially loved: “Live up to the Light thou hast, and more will be given to thee.”  –Caroline Fox

IMG_4257

Oh boy … now I can vacuum!

Clump 54:  Clear out various books and bags on floor of former room of gloom.

This day has been chock-a-block, so the post will be quick.  Actually, the message today might be that clearing a clump and writing can, indeed, be squeezed into even the busiest of days.  If not for the 30-day, 30-clump, 30-post challenge, I would not have attempted it — no time!   Here are two piles littering the floor:

IMG_1894

The books were easily scooped up and placed on a bookshelf. Bookshelf organizing can wait for another day.

IMG_1893

I thought this bag would contain my father’s obituary. Cue the dreading Duh-duh-duh music.  It was actually a newspaper from the day he died. Not something to keep.

IMG_1895

When scanning the obituaries in that day’s paper, I noticed Phyllis Diller had died around that time.  Am I the only one who imagines the strange couplings of deceased souls arriving in the afterlife together? It pleases me to think of laughter around my dad.

IMG_1899

Yes, it’s true … I am posting a photo of dirt on my floor for publication.  I don’t know whether to be more embarrassed or disgusted.  Remember all those Good Housekeeping magazines?  This was what was underneath.  Now I can vacuum the whole floor.  Who-hoo!

IMG_1898

Before anyone gets any ideas about my turning into a neat freak, I present this bit of philosophy I noticed in a shop this summer.

IMG_1036

Imperfectly, yet delightedly, clumping along.

Hanging in the Balance

Clump #53:  Put up long-neglected picture.

Day 22 of the 30-day, 30-clump, 30-post challenge.  This past week I have been laboring over some difficult, time-consuming clumps. Today’s was comparatively easy and satisfying … why did it take me so long?

I had seen the print in a store in Minnesota two summers ago.  I had my younger daughter take a photo of it with her cell phone.  Back home, I would occasionally ask her if she still had the picture; she’d show it to me, and I’d say, yeah, I do like it.

A year later, I went back to the store and it was still there (most likely not the same one).  I finally bought it to go in the room I have been excavating this week.  And there it sat and sat and sat … until today.

IMG_1882

It took about ten minutes to overcome two years of inertia.

IMG_1880

I love it because it reminds me of many family get togethers on a lake in Minnesota.

IMG_4232

The question: “Why have I been depriving myself of this pleasure?” brought to mind a card I received from a friend who taught a Reiki class.  She let us pick out and keep one tiny card from a small deck. This was the one I picked.

IMG_1892

My accounting looks a little better now.