Tear Down This Wall!

Clump #29:  Take down the ironing board as a permanent fixture.

“Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere.  Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share.”   –Barney The Purple Dinosaur

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Quite a while ago, here, I set the goal of clearing out my bedroom as a statement of self-worth.  Historically, I’ve given cleaning priority to public areas that guests might see (anyone from dear friends to unknown repairmen). Meanwhile, I neglect the rooms where I and my husband, dearest person of all, spend the most time.  A force of instinct, not intention, but up-side down, indeed.  Time to align intention with action.

Through previous clumping, most of the room is staying clear, and with less clutter it’s easier to keep clean. (…Remarkable.)  However, we have an ironing board in our bedroom that never, ever gets Put Away.  Let me rephrase that: I never, ever Put it Away.  This might not seem like a big deal, but it has now become our own Berlin Wall separating East and West Germany. *  On one side is my newly-clear Zen space; on the other is the flotsam and jetsam of a previous, unresolved clearing-of-public-area-of-the-house effort.  Lots of shoes and boots and other dreadful, stubborn stuff.  More like a toxic oil spill!

Keeping the ironing board out is also a subliminal message saying I am never finished with ironing.  Yes, when rushing to get something pressed, it’s a lot easier to have the board right at hand, but the psychic toll is too high.  Putting the ironing board away declares a clear and definite end-of-task.

Wow … I can’t believe I’m posting this photo to the world.  The shame!!

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My husband and I were on a plane recently and he was reading the book, Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar … Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes, by Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein.  His shoulders were shaking from laughing silently, so he handed over the following story for me to read.

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“On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.  The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightening.

One woman in particular loses it.  She stands up in the front of the plane screaming, ‘I’m too young to die!’  Then she yells, ‘Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable!  No one has ever made me really feel like a woman!  Well, I’ve had it!  Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman?’

For a moment there is silence.  Everyone has forgotten his own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a man steps up in the rear.  He’s a tall, tanned hunk with jet-black hair, and he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.  ‘I can make you feel like a woman,’ he says.

No one moves.  As the man approaches, the woman begins to get excited.  He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and says, ‘Iron this.’

Here’s another book, courtesy of my husband, who spotted it in a book store.   (I must note, he did not purchase it.)  Further proof of the coming extinction of ironing  as a woman’s domaine.  Also of my feeling like a dinosaur (see above; even Barney has a more evolved view).

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*In the time I’ve been writing this post, I saw a film clip of Ronald Reagan’s famous “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall” speech while visiting The–wonderful–National Constitution Center in Philadelphia. Then, on June 12, I happened to hear on the radio that it was the  26th anniversary of the speech.  Phew …  synchronicity strikes again!

More Irony

Clump #28:  Restart blog.

Time Flies (Sighted on the NJ Shore)

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The non-act of not writing about and posting my clumps has, itself, now become a clump.  When many days of not posting slip by and accumulate, the psychic build-up is akin to the massive ironing pile documented as clump #26.  Ironically, my ironing pile is under control, but ironing-related posting material coming into my consciousness is piling up.  I should be off the ironing subject but I can’t let it go … so I’m blocked, like steam trapped behind mineral deposit build-up on an iron (sorry).

You know the phenomenon of getting something in your mind and then seeing that thing over and over in the world?  Here’s a sampling.  Hasboro, the maker of the game Monopoly, recently ditched its iron-shaped game piece for a cat-shaped one.  More than 10 million Facebook fans from over 120 countries voted the “depression-era iron” off and the cute kitty on.  I feel this is an important cultural moment.

Apparently the niece of the game’s inventor suggested using the charms on her bracelet for the game pieces.  Would a girl today have an iron on her charm bracelet (do girls still wear charm bracelets?)?  Ironing is an endangered act, what with wrinkle-free fabrics proliferating in the marketplace.  Was it once part of of a woman’s domestic or female arsenal of charms?

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Stephan Pastis, creator of one of my favorite comic strips, Pearls Before Swine, http://www.stephanpastis.wordpress.com, had a good time with this in a series back in April.

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I guess what I’m struggling with is the fact that I’m a throwback to another time.  When I list my occupation on the various forms we’re all required to complete, I’m in the habit of writing Homemaker.  It’s a title that calls to mind Donna Reed or June Cleaver.  Now that my children have more or less grown up and away from home, the full-time mother part of the role is not as much the point of pride it used to be.

So maybe on some level I enjoy the drama of a monstrous ironing pile, since vanquishing it gives me a visible sense of accomplishment.  See what I did?!   Which brings to mind another comic strip, Mutts, by Patrick McDonnell, http://www.muttscomics.com.  I had taped this in my little book of random notes on 9/12/11.  On the facing page I had written, “The better a housekeeper you are, the more invisible your work becomes.”  Hmm.

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And … we’re back to a cat again, an animal Monopolizing the internet, but not necessarily know for its work ethic.

Ironing Deficiency

Clump #27:  Ironing pile, take two; ironing solution, take one.

This is an update on the previous post.  Yes, I vanquished the towering ironing pile of yore, but that herculean effort did not cure the underlying problem.   Articles of clothing in need of ironing quickly started attaching themselves — like barnacles — onto a chair in our bedroom.  Just reading the last sentence makes me laugh … as if I had nothing to do with the situation at all.  That naughty laundry!  Here’s a photo of the barnacle-like accumulation.  The longer ignored, the stronger it’s adherence.

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When I pried the pile off, this is what the top of the chair looked like.  Crushed (fake) velvet.  Ouch.

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Okay.  No further proof needed.  This is, indeed, a very bad plan, if you could call it a plan.  No more!   I am now dedicating this laundry basket to ironing, using the small but powerful talisman(men) of labels.  I love labels.  This one says: Let it be known throughout the land: the ironing pile now has a home of its own … I command!

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I cleared out a little bit of cluttered closet for its new home, no longer an eyesore in the bedroom, or an impediment/detriment to furniture.

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As proof that good things come to those who declutter, I found my old dictionary in a pile of books in the closet.  It was part of my going-to-college supplies … oh, about a million years ago … back when people looked things up in books, not computers.  The sight of this old friend loyally waiting beside me on my desk is a comfort.

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Guess what?  While I’ve been focused indoors, Spring is busting out all over, outside.  Here’s a glimpse.  I love the one fully-open little bloomlet in this picture saying,”Wake up — time to open!” like the power of one clean spot in the clutter of a larger closet mess.

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Happy Spring!

My Ironing Pile Is Eating My Meditation Cushion

Clump #26:  Conquer ironing pile.

I swear I did not stage this photo.  The meditation pillows are a little hard to see, on the lower left.  My poor Chi!  Here’s a confession about me and ironing.  Subconsciously I know that the minute I iron the items in the ironing pile, they will be put into action, worn, and then — in a flash — will be back to the ironing pile again.  By postponing the inevitable, I stop the cycle for a while.  It’s not a good excuse, but it’s all I’ve got.

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Here’s the basket hidden below, with poor Christmas place mats wondering when they will ever see the light of day.  I guess that answers the question of how long the pile has been festering — not the whole pile, mind you, but certainly the bottom-dwellers.

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And here is the “After” shot of mission accomplished (part of it), and another, more virtuous confession.  When I finally start ironing, with a fluffy, romantic movie on to keep me company, I actually enjoy it.  I watched The Holiday and Chocolat to help me through this ironing monstrosity.  Another perennial favorite in my ironing movie collection is Pride and Prejudice.  An ironing movie must be one I have seen previously, otherwise I wouldn’t want to look down at what I am doing.  Also, the movie must have a happy ending.  There is something very cozy about getting all the wrinkles out of the fabric at hand as the heroine of an ironing movie, inevitably, gets all the wrinkles out of her life.

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I apologize to loyal followers of my blog who have wondered where I’ve been.  I got off-track with a trip through different time and weather zones.  Here are some photos from this year’s Philadelphia Flower Show, featuring a recreation of Big Ben (London calling, again!) to illustrate my boggled mind.  On every hour, the clock would flip out in this way: here we are starting at 9:00.

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And then the gears would crank the clock face out (digitally) …

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To a garden-themed riot of all things British, with British musical accompaniment …

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And changing colored lights …

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Beatles popping out of the garden …

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And other beloved British musicians …

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Like Led Zeppelin …

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And whoever this is. (?) (I guess I’m not as cool as I thought!) …

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Mr. Bean and Freddie Mercury; Benny Hill, Monty Python (not pictured) and so many others …

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Book-ending with the Beatles sprouting from the garden again, older and fancier.

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Whether it’s stopping the clock, leaving reality for vacation, or avoiding the ironing pile, postponing the inevitable is never a good long-term solution.  Excuse me while I meditate on this for a while.

Old Bags

Clump #25:  Recycle plastic bags.

I’ve got to use our reusable bags more often.  I do need plastic ones for garbage and kitty litter-box cleaning, but this is ridiculous.  I recently read that people are getting food-borne illnesses from unwashed reusable shopping bags.  So, O.K., use them more often and wash them more often.

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I was driving the bags to the grocery store’s recycling containers and realized they were about the size of a person … like a houseguest who had long worn out his welcome.  “Thank you, Bye Bye!  This is where you get out.”

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The subject of old bags makes me think of the time my husband and I were in Disney World for our younger daughter’s high school choir trip. It was our last chaperoning job for our kids (empty-nest pang).  One morning we were entering the park, and, as usual, I was the one with the tote bag requiring a security search; my husband was free to go straight through the turnstile, unencumbered.

The words “Old Bag” were never actually uttered, but something about the smile and gleam in his eye when he pointed to where the “bags” had to go made the point clearly.  At that moment, a Disney employee said to me, “You can come over here, Princess.”  (No wonder they’re called Cast Members. They’re fluent in fiction.)  I said, “Ha!  This man called me Princess, while you were thinking Old Bag!”  I saw this mug in a gift shop, and enjoy the memory each time I use it.

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I’m reminded that both age and Princess-hood are states of mind.

Giving and Receiving

Clump #24:  Bring bag of clothes to Goodwill.

In the same way I had (past tense!) a hidden to-do list under the layer of clutter on my bureau, there is a subliminal to-do list on our bedroom floor.  I have returned the articles of clothing in this bag a million times … in my head!  They were purchased for my older daughter.  Since she lives far away, it took a while for her to try them on and decide that they weren’t right.  So much time elapsing … and elapsing, and elapsing. The image of finally returning them, and the embarrassment of having to own up to the date on the receipt, was keeping the job in the stuck zone.  I finally mustered up my courage, and then realized the receipt I had put in the bag was not even for those items!!  To the Goodwill they go, with the much happier image of someone being ecstatic about finding such great, new items, with their tags still on.  Another little bit of mental noise (nagging) has been silenced in our place of rest.

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Confession: I don’t usually get a receipt when I donate items to the Goodwill.  At the point of release, I’m often so disgusted with the items, I feel I should offer to pay Goodwill something for taking them.  This time I knew exactly how much they were worth, got a receipt, and filed it in this year’s tax folder.

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Here’s the back of the receipt.  I hope my donation is a force for positive change in someone’s life.  The act of giving away has already been one for me.

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In the spirit of giving and receiving, and to brighten up the post, I offer this photo of an arrangement of flowers.  My son and I were eating at a pizza restaurant on his recent winter break.  A woman from a nearby florist shop came in with arrangements of flowers to advertise her business on the restaurant’s tables.  She asked us, “Would you mind if I put this on your table?”  What a question!  “I would mind if you didn’t!”

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The Sunlight of Awareness

Clump #23:  Contact friend and record birthdays on two calendars.

Here’s another item from the hidden to-do list uncovered during the bureau-blasting of the previous post.  An old, dear friend had sent me the address and phone number of another old friend on this lovely card. I had meant to contact the second friend right away.  Putting the card on the bureau would remind me.  As always, the longer anything is put off, the more prone to becoming lost it gets, the more guilt is attached, and the worse the detonation when uncovered.  Clutter-mines are guilt bombs.

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What was holding me back?  Well, I hadn’t called this friend in many years.  Does she want to hear from me?  It’s a cold call, and the product I’m selling is myself.  I guess fear of rejection is at the bottom of the pit, but this is mostly operating in my subconscious.  It withers in the light of day, on the typed page.  I finally called her and left a message on her answering machine.  I wasn’t sure (from the odd sound) whether it recorded, so I followed up with a hand-written note.  I’ve done my part; I can feel joy at the sight of irises again.

Next up: I had not entered birthdays in my 2013 calendar, and had missed my brother-in-law’s birthday.  More guilt!  Another friend gave me a perpetual calendar this year.  Very thoughtful.  I entered important dates on it and on the kitchen calendar with quotes by Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh.  I’ll do better next year!

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I sent my brother-in-law an article I had been saving since July 9, 2011! He is a Three Stooges fan, and I thought he’d enjoy reading about The Stoogeum, located in Philadelphia,”The world’s first and only museum dedicated entirely to the Three Stooges.”  Occasionally treasure is mined from the depths of piles.

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Our dishwasher is on the blink, so while waiting for the repair we are hand-washing our dishes.  I guess the influence of the Thich Nhat Hanh calendar made me think of his profound advice against rushing through dish-washing to get to dessert.  Mixed up in my mind, I thought it was rushing to eat an orange.  (Another mindfulness exercise.)

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But with the image of an orange in mind, I noticed there was one right next to me at that moment.

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Here is the quote from Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life 

“To my mind, the idea that doing dishes is unpleasant can occur only when you aren’t doing them.  Once you are standing in front of the sink with your sleeves rolled up and your hands in the warm water, it is really quite pleasant. I enjoy taking my time with each dish, being fully aware of the dish, the water, and each movement of my hands.  I know that if I hurry in order to eat dessert sooner, the time of washing dishes will be unpleasant and not worth living.  That would be a pity, for each minute, each second of life is a miracle!  If I am incapable of washing dishes joyfully, if I want to finish them quickly so I can go and have dessert, I will be equally incapable of enjoying my dessert.  With the fork in my hand, I will be thinking about what to do next, and the texture and the flavor of the dessert, together with the pleasure of eating it, will be lost.  I will always be dragged into the future, never able to live in the present moment.  Each thought, each action in the sunlight of awareness becomes sacred.  In this light, no boundary exists between the sacred and the profane.  I must confess it takes me a bit longer to do the dishes, but I live fully in every moment, and I am happy.  Washing the dishes is at the same time a means and an end — that is, not only do we do the dishes in order to have clean dishes, we also do the dishes just to do the dishes, to live fully in each moment while washing them.”

Uncovering To-Do Lists

Clump #22:  Clear off top of bedroom bureau.

O.K., it’s time to rip off the band aid.  I’m hyperventilating a bit now at the thought of making this photo public.  But here goes.  (Please don’t judge me)  (Have I mentioned how I religiously make my bed every morning?)

Before:

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During, the big dust-up:

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And after–ahh–we can breath again:

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Now here’s the thing.  As with previous pile confrontations, there were a few, let’s say, clutter-mines hidden in the mess.  Things I’ve avoided confronting either from dread, fear, or indecision about what in heaven’s name to do with them.  Sort of like a hidden to-do list.   While covered, they don’t exist; by uncovering them, the gig is up.

Here’s a good example.  These bags are filled with pieces of broken china and pottery I can’t bear to part with.  I mentioned previously the very disruptive water damage repair project that left us reeling.  A lot was broken.  These shards represent dread, not wanting to revisit the sadness, and also fear of the unknown (see below).

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Please don’t report me to the Hoarder show.  My plan has been to take a class at the Magic Garden in Philadelphia and make something out of these dear shards.  But when?  It’s pretty expensive … and scary!  By shining this blog-light on my silly fears, I, finally, today, called the Magic Garden and enrolled in a class taking place this Spring.  I can procrastinate a bit longer, while secure in the knowledge that I did take a concrete step. Here are some pictures of the garden and the artist, Isaiah Zagar, who created it and who will teach the class.

http://www.philadelphiasmagicgardens.org/

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Another insight gleaned: I tend to put items out on a surface so that I will see them and be reminded to do something. Faulty logic! Unfortunately, as more clutter accumulates, the visual field becomes so clogged that the reminder is silenced.  And then comes the annoying … “I know I put them in a place where I couldn’t miss them … where could they be?!”   Now the bags of shards are in a closet waiting for that Spring weekend when I will form them into something new.  One clutter-mine detonated.

Hearts are all around this Valentine’s Day week!  Here are two I noticed.

A peanut brittle-heart my husband inadvertently fashioned while making the wonderful treat for a friend.  He hadn’t seen it; I had to stop him to snap the photo.

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A piece of toast becomes celebratory.  Love!

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Happy Endings and Beginnings

Clump #21:  Defend the cleared bedroom wall space.

Through way too much experience, I know that clearing an area does not always make for a happily-ever-after. Clumps insidiously creep back in.  I felt very protective about the hard-won space I cleared, documented in my last post.  Here’s a reminder (how exciting!):

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I had the urge to stretch police tape across this little pocket of calm to defend it from further clumping.  Instead, I put together a few of my favorite things and made a little bedside sanctuary.  First, I “repurposed” (decoratory word) a little table that seems much more at home here.  As someone with large feet, I adore its dainty little ones.

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I took this lamp out of my older daughter’s room.  She’s now a young adult living far away, and, therefore, spends precious little time here. (Sniff-sniff)  My older sister gave us this lamp with blueberries on it as a reminder of a famous blueberry pie my husband made for a July 4th picnic when he and I were dating.

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I might as well explain that blueberry pie.  We were living in the Boston area and making the journey by foot, trolly, and subway to the big Boston Pops concert and fireworks display at the Esplanade.   My husband had wrapped the pie in a — clean — garbage bag to protect it for the trip, not anticipating how slippery it would be.  Well, it tipped and slipped all the way, the poor guy just barely saving it from falling countless times until … plop … it fell down on the disgusting floor of a subway station.   He was just about to dump it in the nearest trash can when we (I, my sister, and a few friends) shouted  “No!   We don’t care what it looks like!   We’ll still eat it!”   The fact was, it was still in the clean garbage bag, and the pie, though its shape a little worse for the wear, was absolutely delicious!

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So it became a symbol of our courtship.  My husband proposed on the next July 4 and we were married on the following one.  We had blueberries in our wedding cake, and my husband makes a delicious blueberry pie every year for our anniversary.  A true happily ever after.

More credit to my big sister.  She also gave us these dessert plates with the same pattern.  The water bottle-glass set has been sitting in a cupboard, unused, for years.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve considered giving it away, but just couldn’t quite do it.  I’m so glad I didn’t!

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I have a distant memory of reading the health and beauty tips of a long-forgotten star.  She said Cameron Diaz starts every day with a big bottle of water, so she did, too.  I had always meant to follow suit, but could never quite get it into my habit system.  Now it’s almost effortless.  I just clean the glass and refill the bottle soon after I get up.

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I used this picture of a girl mailing a letter to represent me finally getting my absurdly late holiday cards out.  The picture was homeless after a time, a couple of years ago, when serious water damage to our house caused major disruption.

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Now the print  has a home in my little grouping of favorite things.  Not beautiful-homes magazine material, but each item makes me happy. I’m learning to say (as the L’Oreal commercial does) “And I’m worth it!” And also learning that fully appreciating the things you love is as important as clearing away the ones you don’t.

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Clashing Through

Clump #20: Clear away pile on wall of bedroom.

While shoveling snow recently I had an epiphany about this project. Instead of clearing clumps here, there, and everywhere, I, and the project, would be better served by adopting a more methodical approach.  Start at one end, enjoy the sight of  progress along the way, and end at the other, feeling a sense of accomplishment.  Shoveling clumps of snow in different areas willy-nilly would be dispiriting, not to mention crazy.  The same must hold true with indoor clumps. (This is not a picture of our snow … google images … rain here today.)

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Below is a picture of Clump #3:  the fossilized laundry basket, with hard-to-make-a-decision-about items from a reaming-out of our linen closet.

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Seems small, but such a victory!  Disproving the story I had been telling about myself that I am a person who could never knit a sock, or figure out what to do with so many sentimental, but unused items.

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Armed with a new resolution within a resolution, I am now focused on clearing out our bedroom, from one end to the other.   Pictured below is the pile beneath the reamed-out linen closet items from clump #3 (above).  Writing this blog has heightened my awareness of how I treat different areas of the house.  I have the bad habit of cleaning and clearing for guests in the public areas, while shoving the excess into private areas. The truth is, our well-tended bed mentioned in the last post is a tidy oasis floating in a sea of clutter.  What does it say that the space for my husband, the most important person in my life, and myself, often looks like a dumping ground?  Why do strangers deserve better treatment?   This up-side-down priority-ordering ends today!

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Towels and sheets were easy.  Those plastic space bags for condensing clothing and linen seemed like a good idea at the time, but we are just not using them.  Where to store something we haven’t used in years?  Maybe my kids could use them?  Better to give away to the Good Will and imagine someone who will immediately fill them up.   If a need arises in the future, as they say, “they’ll make more.”  I used the mop to wrangle our dust bunny farm (out of sight and out of control) and put it away.

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Finis!  Will eliminating the snarl of stuck stuff right next to my head make for sounder sleep and better dreams?  We shall see.

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One other tip that has really made a difference: music as a motivator.  In my last post I mentioned taking a trip to London on my computer.  The next morning the song London Calling, by The Clash, was playing on the radio.  I had to turn the volume way up and jam out.  I apologize to you and the late Joe Strummer for that image of a middle-aged, suburban woman using his great, rebellious song to get motivated to clean her house!  Sorry, but I love it.  Nothing like it to get the blood pumping and the angst vented!  Hear it for yourself … and turn it up!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfK-WX2pa8c

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