September 20, 2013September 21, 2013 by clumpaday

Decisions, Decisions

Clump #51: Empty out yet another box of keepsakes.

If not for the power of this 30-day, 30-clump, 30-post challenge, I would honestly put off going through this box for … forever, really. To tackle it, I have to make difficult, heart-wrenching decisions. My inner two-year-old has been whining at the thought of going through it all day. But I don’t want to!

The hen is a family heirloom. My mom always had a thing for hens, and this one would sit in the center of the table at Easter, surrounded by our dyed eggs.

I put the hen on a basket and let it roost on top of our kitchen cabinet. She seems content there.

Here are some of the ironware items my mom collected that, to me, telegraph a sense of home:

I had to reorganize a bunch of cookbooks to fit the pieces in. One of the books was given to me by a dear friend for my wedding shower. I love the book, but, wow, Martha — we were so much younger then!

I was struck by an article in today’s Philadelphia Inquirer about an effort to preserve Pennsylvania’s top ten most endangered objects, “tangible pieces of Pennsylvania history.” The cost for the state to care for these items range from $1,665 for the earliest known free frank signed by George Washington; to $5,000 for Thaddeus Stevens’ wig; to $25,480 for preserving the visitors’ book for a jailed nineteenth-century abolitionist. Pictured is a 1536 illuminated Mennonite Froschauer Bible. The state “is launching a six-week ‘crowdsourcing’ effort to preserve them.”

Pennsylvania First Lady Susan Corbett was quoted as saying, “These artifacts tell us who we are and where we came from.” The same thing applies as I decide which tangible pieces of our family history to save and which to let go.

Ironically, on the same page as the article about endangered artifacts, there was a poignant article about a ten-year old boy who was so unhappy with his school in Philadelphia that he wrote a letter to the president. He was upset after a year with a frustrating teacher. “Still, he enjoyed gym, art, and music classes. Watching the news on TV over the summer, he learned that those extra subjects were being cut back in the troubled school district.” He went to the top for help in getting into to a better school. Unfortunately, crowdsourcing efforts will not fix the Philadelphia school system.

Our choice of what to keep and what to let go, what to fund and what to cut, does say a lot about who we are and what we value.

September 18, 2013September 19, 2013 by clumpaday

Turning a Corner

Clump #49: Unload two boxes of sentimental stuff.

Day 18 of my 30-day, 30-clump, 30-post challenge … where I am currently clearing out a room used to stash my parents’ belongings a year after my father’s death, in honor of his birthday this week.

This is too hard! I just called my sisters for reinforcement, and they were both out (unless they are now screening my calls). Here are the two boxes I unpacked:

Some things in there were pretty easy to put right into a Goodwill box or a Fall Festival box — our Quaker Meeting is having its annual festival in October. Great timing. I hope someone will want to buy this beautiful Japanese fan:

One box was almost completely filled with framed photos. Below are hand-made paperweights two of my sisters and I made in grade school. We will have to have a big picture-redistribution.

The red framed photo is from the first Christmas card my husband and I sent with three kids in it. That winter was the most severe weather I can remember. Getting the photo taken and putting the card together seemed akin to scaling Mount Everest. I believe the adorable outfits were from a very exclusive line found at a yard sale.

Okay. Here are the most difficult items. My mother’s purse and jewelry box. I need a sister consultation about these. And then the candle.

Here’s a piece of advice for anyone in the sad position of doing business with a funeral home. Do NOT take a candle with a picture of your dear deceased loved one with their birth and death dates, the words “Celebration of a Life,” and in this case, a background picture of a golf course. We lit the candle during the two memorial services we had for my dad … but now what? I really don’t want to use it again, but throwing it away seems like a sacrilege.

On a lighter note, here is the empty corner. Free from the weight of heavy memories and expectations. Those canes lurking nearby are next.

And on an even happier note, I brought the pansy pillow and the album of pictures from previous clumps/posts to my mom today. She was pleased to get them. One of the pictures in the album summed up my parents’ relationship. Two different people (check out the body language) who made a yin-yang-like whole and who truly celebrated life:

September 17, 2013September 18, 2013 by clumpaday

Out of the Shadows

Clump #48: Rake through three bags of paper and recycle sandals.

It’s official. Summer is really over. My trusty sandals finally gave way. I have a problem with shoes: just when they start to look bad, they start to feel good. A friend, who once staged a shoe intervention for me, recently pointed out that one of these sandals was starting to split. I was unconcerned. Not even considering duct tape. But today the split was complete. The great thing is, they are completely recyclable, and tonight is trash night.

I had purchased them in a grocery store, but I just ordered a new pair online with free shipping (coupon code 2KUV95BA). The company’s name is OKABASHI; they’re made in the USA. These look a little worse for the wear, but I highly recommend them.

Also going out to the curb: the paper contents of the last three (now) benign-looking reusable shopping bags from the room of gloom.

So many credit card offers to dismantle! My pet peeve: the plastic that comes with them, and the goopy stuff used to glue them together.

I’m finally feeling a lifting of the shadows in the room formerly filled with sad memories and neglected clumps. My husband and I went out for a walk this evening and the idea of shadows was on my mind.

Shadows can be lovely.

We stopped on a bridge to look for fish in the stream, and I realized our shadows were in the spotlight.

September 16, 2013September 17, 2013 by clumpaday

Photos Unstuck

Clump #47: Take down photos on boards and put in an album.

This is a tough one. My father passed away last summer and I still have the two poster boards with photos I brought to his funeral in the study I’m clearing out. I’ve been averse to disturbing them, but they remind me of the funeral, a very sad time, more than the fullness of his life.

I went to Target and bought an album. I’m trying not to get too picky-scrap-booky about it. Just put the pictures in as best I can, and write a few labels.

The thing is, my dad would not have wanted a shrine built to himself. Unlike me, he was very practical and organized. The shrine I have inadvertently made in this room is one of clutter and neglect, the complete opposite of what he stood for. Kind of like the shrine to inner peace, simplicity, and spiritual knowledge in the midst of stuff, stuff, and more stuff that I saw recently in a Pier 1 store.

This past Saturday was a low day for me, what with the crushing realization of how little I know about modern technology and the rejection of books (and, a little bit, of me) at the used book store. I came home, checked the mail, and found a lovely note from the hospice agency we enlisted to help last year with my father’s death. The note was a reminder of my dad’s upcoming birthday and the writer sympathized with how difficult that might be. I didn’t need the reminder, but it was very thoughtful of them. Here’s my dad in an early photo with his sister:

His birthday is this Thursday, and I will honor his memory by restoring order in a place of chaos.

September 15, 2013September 16, 2013 by clumpaday

Mom Is A What?!

Clump #46: Recycle old plant pots.

My husband actually said these words to our college student daughter today: “I found out that Mom is a pot plant hoarder.” No, no, no! He meant to say “plant pot hoarder.” Good heavens!

The dear man was cleaning out our garage and unearthed a whole bunch of plant pots that I had been meaning to recycle for ages. Even I was shocked at the number. I think I started stacking them together when our township recycled only numbers 1 and 2 plastic. Now we can recycle 1 through 7. Out they go.

I don’t think of myself as a hoarder, but I guess we are all on a spectrum. The sad souls who end up on T.V. in houses with life-threatening clutter and dead cats are on one end, and on the other are those who are disabled by obsessive cleanliness. I guess I would have to put myself on the hoarding side, after all.

I’m reminded of a store I drove by this summer:

What a clever name! I was disappointed that it was not open for business.

The moral of the story is to address clutter when it looks like this (from the show, Little Shop of Horrors) …

Or it could turn into this!!

September 13, 2013 by clumpaday

Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky

Clump #44: Give away cushions and throw away bags.

Thank you to Jimi Hendrix and the song Purple Haze for the title of this post. Another day of confronting a clump of stuff that had been moved out of my father’s last apartment into one of our rooms. This room, the study, has become a black hole, sucking in all manner of clutter. (Ahem, I, of course, have had nothing at all to do with it.)

First, something I should have done long ago. These bags were from the funeral home we used when my father passed away last year. Today I gave myself permission to throw them away, not give them away. What a relief.

Next, I put together an assortment of pillows to give away. I’d given the one with needlepointed pansies to my mom at some point. She has always been a big fan of pansies and often remarked about how much she liked it. I will bring it back to her.

My mom’s affection for pansies must have rubbed off on me. I took this photo of two of them with a petunia during pansy season this spring. (Doesn’t the one on the right look like a cat face?)

Perhaps I had pillows on the brain, but I couldn’t get over the sky today … like thick down. I almost wanted to stop people on the street and exclaim about it. Magnificent. I guess I did need to get out!

September 12, 2013 by clumpaday

Feeling Like a Blobfish

Clump #43: Tackle box of parents’ paraphernalia.

I now have an icon for the way I feel:

I saw this poor creature today on The Daily Beast website, which reported that “The Ugly Animal Preservation Society has just named this gelatinous glob of goo — the blobfish — the world’s ugliest animal. The society aims to draw awareness to at-risk animals who wouldn’t normally receive attention because of their extreme ugliness.” Awww.

What brought about my own blobfish mood? Having to start working through the remnants of my parents’ possessions. Very sad. I promised myself I just had to look through one box only, and called my sisters to confer with them on some of the tough decisions.

Some items were easy to dispose of, like a bottle of Saratoga water from a trip the whole family took together many years ago. I already had one of my own on the kitchen window sill. It casts a lovely blue light when the sun is shining through.

These mugs were in the medium category of difficulty for giving away. I had bought them for my parents to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. This was The New York Times front page on the day they were married in 1950. Off they go.

I made these place mats and napkins for my mom one Christmas. They bring back good memories of great meals at my parents’ house. When I look at them, though, I want to sew them over again and do a better job. Into the give-away box they go.

I have a new to-do list for other box contents, like checking on the value of old books, but these two items were the only clear keep-ables in the whole box: a ketchup bottle from my mother’s family’s ketchup business and the wedding topper from my parents’ wedding cake. What a handsome couple.

For now they will live in our hutch, away from harm, out of the box, and a pleasure for all to see.

September 11, 2013September 11, 2013 by clumpaday

Hallelujah

Clump #42: Buy new folders for piles of sheet music and instruction manuals.

The gratitude I felt today for the men who pick up our recycling was boundless. I was almost afraid to look when I approached the curb this afternoon … but all ten bags of paper were gone! Woo-hoo!

Now that I have done the machete-wielding job, the sorting and fine scalpel work remains. The sheet music below is one example. My family is a musical bunch. I am the designated audience member. Through the years we have amassed a collection of sheet music that wanders hither and yon. This is not usually a big problem until someone needs one piece in particular. Then the sorting through paper piles, scratching of heads, and tearing of hair ensues.

Every holiday season my husband, son, and two daughters sing a quartet of Coventry Carol for the Christmas music program at our Quaker meeting. And every year no one can find the sheet music. Somehow, by hook or by crook, the music is reprinted from some source at the last minute. This is not a peaceful, holiday scene. The resulting performance is always one that brings tears to the eyes. Now I will be able to easily locate the sheet music and can contribute to the effort, not to mention the general holiday cheer.

I went to Target today and bought two expanding files. I was thinking it would be great to find one with musical notes on it. Aren’t these whole notes?

The other big bunch of paper I needed to corral was a stack of instruction manuals for various appliances and other purchases. Again, not something you need very often, but when you really need one of them, SO annoying not to know where in heaven’s name it is.

And now this pile’s new home — voila:

Today’s crossword puzzle included a quote by Shakti Gawain: “Problems are messages.” So simple. So profound. One of the little slips of paper I just taped in my idea book was from a fortune cookie: “No problem leaves you where you found it.” I’m going to do some deep thinking about the messages contained in my problems. Something about self-sabotage as a misguided form of protection. But today, I feel like I am finally breaking free from a paper chrysalis.

September 10, 2013September 11, 2013 by clumpaday

Ten Bags Full

Clump #41: Put out ten bags of paper.

I don’t know whether I am capable of putting two words together. I just put TEN BAGS of paper out on the curb for recycling tomorrow morning. My fingers are raw and my brain is numb. We might look back on this time as the great paper purge of ’13.

Yes, I still have a mammoth pile left over, waiting to be sorted out. Some papers, like this one, I will definitely keep. It’s an assignment my older daughter wrote when she was in elementary school:

3 Lessons I learned from Rachel Carson

1. If you don’t give up with something, you’ll get it sometime.

2. You don’t have to be bold to make great achiefments. [sic]

3. Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can’t do something.

I didn’t want to give up today. I even played the Disney movie Mulan, a special favorite of this same daughter. The song I’ll make a Man out of You, sung by Donny Osmond, is a great motivational song. It worked.

I was appreciative of this (unfortunately blurry) logo on Lands’ End catalogs. I felt as though I had felled a forest.

Let’s get down to business — to defeat the Huns (or Clumps). Huah!

September 9, 2013September 9, 2013 by clumpaday

Nailed by a Greeting Card

Clump #40: Tackle piles in sad, bad room.

Clump number 40. Brings to mind biblical 40 days and 40 nights. Today I felt like I was crawling through a desert. I gave myself the assignment of starting in on the contents of a room that used to be a study. Beyond just cluttered, it’s become a room filled with sadness and self-recrimination. A room where I stashed many of my father’s possessions after getting through his funeral last August, it went on to become a general stashing place. We really should feel more shame in instructing guests not to look through the glass doors as they enter our house. Very much like “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain,” in The Wizard of Oz. Our secret flaws revealed … right out in the open.

I was galvanized by spotting this card in a store. I’m someone who believes there are no coincidences, so it was not surprising that I wasn’t looking for a card, and I didn’t even see the others in the series. (I’ll have to go back.)

I immediately thought, I’m not a hoarder! But I opened the card and had to laugh out loud. That’s me!

The card is from a line called Frank & Funny, written by comedians. You can see all of them at frankandfunny.com. This one was written by Andy Forrester … a kindred spirit!

Here’s the kicker. This is an untouched picture of part of our study:

I imagined myself paging through each magazine, keeping whatever article or pearls of wisdom I knew must be saved. But a strange thing happened. I felt increasingly physically sick at the mere thought. It occurred to me, first, that nothing in those magazines is more important than my health and well-being. Second, that if I hadn’t subscribed and received them in the mail, I wouldn’t have thought a thing about what I was missing in them. Third, there is a wealth of information in magazines and books in the library and in the world. I don’t expect I will be able to retrieve and retain every bit for my use. Fourth, I was making these points on the phone with my older daughter, and she gave me the great insight that I was not trusting that the wisdom I might need would come to me in a different way or form. Wow.

So I threw them into bags for recycling with great abandon and relief. As I tossed them in, I’d look at the headlines and, in my head, add variations on the words, “when you toss out your magazines.” For example, “Declutter in Minutes” by tossing out your magazines!

“Instant Stress Relief” when you toss out your magazines!

“Look Better At Any Age” by tossing out your magazines. You get the idea. It turns out, like Dorothy, I had the power all along.

The only page I kept was this picture of a wonderful summer drink. I made it for my younger daughter’s high school graduation party. It was refreshing and yummy. Now I will be able to find it and make it again.

Here’s the recipe:

Hibiscus Cooler

Total Time: 5 minutes; Serves 4 Also: delicious without booze!

In a large pitcher, combine 2 cups ginger ale, 1 cup iced hibiscus tea (such as Red Zinger), 1/2 cup rum, (optional), and 1 sliced peach. Serve over ice. Garnish with fresh tarragon sprigs.

The fresh tarragon sprigs made a real difference. Cheers!

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